Surprising things that I found out my kid likes today:
- pumpernickel bread
- rice vinegar on her roasted broccoli and cauliflower
- dill dip
Does someone want to come over every morning and make sure I take my Prilosec? Because I’m apparently not capable of doing it myself.
that kind of justification is a common tactic abusers use. I’m NOT saying thats what your mom’s doing, just that I pick up on it really well.
Oh shit, I worded that in a strange way. She’s never asked me to do anything because love or because how will I feel when she dies? It’s something I chose to do as a child and into adulthood because I love her and I know she loves me and she’s generally a wonderful person and it was easy to do. When it stopped being easy, I started speaking up about my needs. It’s gone pretty well except for a few things, the Facebook issue being one of them.
I absolutely get what you are saying though, and I don’t respond well to guilt or manipulation at all because other people have used it on me. Anyone that does try it at this point gets a rude earful because I see that bullshit for what it is and I have no tolerance for it whatsoever.
hey you should let the person do the thing that you told them not to do BECAUSE LOVE.
I know, right?
I actually let things like this slide for about 30 years BECAUSE LOVE and because how am I going to feel when she dies?, but then I realized that I needed to set some boundaries because I’d like to not feel like absolute shit about certain things and feel resentful toward her about these things while she is alive.
She’s your mother. She loves you. Stop worrying about it. One day she’ll be gone and all you’ll have are bad pictures and regret. Let her do her thing and know she loves you all the more.
Oh for fuck’s sake, I don’t know you and I’m sure you are trying to come from a good place but really? It’s a boundary I’ve set because she’s ignored my requests about Facebook over and over again. She knows that there are pictures that I do like and that I’m fine with her posting. All I’ve asked her to do is ask me first about the ones she takes because I look like ass in about 90% of them. I’m not asking her to go above and beyond here. She refuses to respect this boundary and she’s effectively told me that it’s too much effort or too inconvenient for her to do so.
And you sound like my mom with the bullshit guilt about it.
So bite me.